I am sorry for my hiatus

Hello dear readers!

I want to apologize for being away for so long. This year has been a very rough year for me. In January on my grandmother's birthday, I lost my uncle tragically. I was very much close to him. I couldn't deal with it. It was such a shock. I couldn't get back into the routine of my life.

 I had a brief scare of Leukemia. I was tested constantly. While they did not find anything, I am still being closely monitored and tested. My white blood cells are rising slowly.

In June my mother was in a horrible accident. Someone was speed her and hit the side of her Jeep which caused her Jeep to flip several time. She was lucky to walk away with her life. Then my aunt got into a car accident and broke her arm.

While trying to deal with all of that, in August my grandfather died. My grandfather adopted me when I was 5 years old. He was my everything. He made me feel protected and like I could anything in the world. He came to this country to give a better life to his family and he did. This has affected me tremendously. My work has suffered but I am lucky to work for an agency that understands completely.

I am trying to see the positive side of things and trying to get back into the swing of things.  My grandfather would want me to do that. It doesn't get any easier but I am learning to live with it.

So, readers, that has been my year. I am going to try and blog more often. I apologize for being away for so long. I will continue to post nail art (though I am out of practice, last time I did nail art was in January). I will try to post outfits, crafts and things as the such.

Thank you all for understanding.

I hope you all are well.

-xo-
Alex

Body Acceptance

I, like a lot of people, struggled with loving my body. Everywhere we turn society is telling us how we have to look. Shapewear (spanx), diet culture. Telling us that in order to get a man we have to look a certain way. Compliments are back handed. "You're pretty for a big girl"

I say fuck body shaming and fuck your beauty standards. Last year, I tried on a fatkini and I cried so hard as soon as I tried it on. I hated my body. I was doubting myself. Two days ago, I tried on the fatkini again. And you know what? I fucking loved it. I love my body and I am a fierce, fat, femme. My journey has been a very bumpy one. It is different for everyone but you can do it!

I will be wearing this to the beach, out in public, for the world to see. Last year, if you had told me that I would have told you to fuck off.

I have accepted my body and I love every inch, every roll, all the cellulite I have. I've noticed that this year, a lot of people have begun to accepted their bodies and rock it proudly. Fuck the haters. You will get people that hate fat people. Just remember, they hate themselves and that is why they need to project their bad energy out into the world.

If you like something, wear it! No matter how short or tight. Fuck flattery!

xoxo

Nail Files!!!

Despite not posting, I have still been doing nail art. It relaxes me and allows me to channel my "artisitc need" into another medium. Big words for basically nothing. Haha

These were all taken with my iPhone so I am sorry for the poor quality.

As you can tell, I am a bit obsessed with eyeballs. 

There is only one that was stamped. 

I am trying to get back into the swing of things.

After a few weeks of not doing freehand nail art, I lost it.

Nerdigras

On Saturday, me and 5 other people got together at 9 am and got in line in the "epic waiting room" for Comic-Con San Diego. 4 of us were trying to get preview night tickets, as we already have tickets for all 4 nights, and 2 were trying to get passes. We had 7 computers going, pork buns, pastries and Futurama playing on the tv.

Unfortunately not one of us got in. Saturday night and Preview night tickets sold out almost immediately, then Friday, Thursday and lastly Sunday. The mood went from elated and excited to extremely sad. We felt like failures because we couldn't get tickets for our friends. There is always stuff to do outside of the convention center also. Nerd HQ is going to have a lot of stuff as well.

I came home today to another part of my nerdigras. My tickets for PAX East came in the mail today.

Pax East is a video game convention put together by the creators of Penny Arcade (the web comic). There you can test the upcoming video games or buy games before they come out. One can also test out the newest technology in video gaming and PC gaming. The vendors are constantly giving away prizes. They also have a retro video gaming lounge, which is where I love to spend my time. Within the past two years, the table top gaming section has expanded beyond belief. You can "take out" games like you can take out books at the library. You give them your license and try out the game before you commit to buying it. Pax East is a 3 day affair. Starting April 11 and goes until April 13.

You best believe that I will be documenting both events with a ton of pictures!

New Direction

So obviously this blog has not been updated in a while. I was thinking of what direction to go with it. I do not want to only post nail art as my life consists of many different factors. So I wanted to share those things with my readers.

I am body-positive and this blog will be too. No body shaming or body policing. The word FAT is not a bad word. I am fat, my body is fat and it's beautiful.

I want to post what I wear and what I craft and nail art as well. I would be posting rambling (much like this).
So this is the way I am going. I hope you all stay along for the ride!!

What would you like to see in this blog?